Whichever you prefer - the gentle rhymes
Of sonnet-scrambled verse, their faint soufflé-
Resembling play puffed high as words sometimes
Collapse quite comically; or Dorn's bouquet,
His Western-scented aftershave arrayed
Across post-modern cheeks: just scrape a little,
Collect the skin and whiskers, stay afraid
To versify, and know we're noncommittal
About post-modern faces. Read the Weltschmerz
From poets playing scales, tryptophan
Your way through metered Jesus, love and welt-hurts
Paraded round an Arc de Trope, saran-
Wrapped in need, choking plastic babies with
Rhymed plastic sheets: false membranes, pulp and pith.
4 comments:
The old "write even if it's bad" method. Oh, the Berrigan version is more intriguing:
Whichever you prefer - the gentle rhymes
Resembling play puffed high as words sometimes
His Western-scented aftershave arrayed
Collect the skin and whiskers, stay afraid
About post-modern faces. Read the Weltschmerz
Your way through metered Jesus, love and welt-hurts
Wrapped in need, choking plastic babies with
Rhymed plastic sheets: false membranes, pulp and pith
Paraded round an Arc de Trope, saran-
From poets playing scales, tryptophan
To versify, and know we're noncommittal
Across post-modern cheeks: just scrape a little,
Collapse quite comically; or Dorn's bouquet
Of sonnet-scrambled verse, their faint soufflé.
But I have cheated enough, my edits of my previous efforts notwithstanding, and won't post it as a separate sonnet.
Persnickety is too thankful Sir disgruntled modern sonneteer opted to put the slaughtered not-a-sonnet in his comment as opposed to posting the fraud as if 'twas all too acceptable. For the end-rhyming the Berrigan version lent, Mains' comment regarding Herrick's not-a-sonnet (half non-committal since he did post it anyway as if it might be acceptable) seems applies.
What's with invoking "Jesus"? That handily eludes me.
This sonnet seems to not-so-subtly rant against the "most exquisite form's" strictures as its detractors often do, as if that lends strength to their condemnation. Have it as you wish. Just leave off sonneteering for the wimps if such the sonneteers must be.
La, I love the "Western aftershave" imagery as well as all the rest of the usual fantastic imagery.
Methinks you must be a "modern" sonneteer. Reminds me, what say you of Alexander Smith's "modern sonnet" (as Mains classified it)? I did not like it.
Impressive, superb, delightful. I enjoyed it, though I am sorry you are not so devoted to my darling as I. Oh well.
Ah, this is not so much a rant against sonnets, but against "whichever you prefer"; more a meditation than a rant on a lot of the beginner poetry out there. I equate beginning poetry to playing scales on an instrument, and muse about the topics that crop up (which is why Jesus gets mentioned.)
I had not read Smith's sonnets before, but looked at the one you mentioned (CCCCLIV?) and thought it was all right; it felt as "modern" as anything written by Keats, although with a few more deviations from the standard. Of course, "modern" puts one in good company: Shakespeare, Wordsworth, to name a few.
I think I like the Berriganized version better here than the original, because it seems to find contemplation that I was unable to encode in the original. But I am trying to avoid making a habit of getting two sonnets out of one now that I've experimented a bit!
Thanks for reading!
I guess its topic was too much for my taste. Aye, it is rather reminiscent of Keats, but what's with invoking Shakespeare and Wordsworth? Neither of them stooped so low that I can see.
Thank you for the explanation, I am still mulling over it.
Beginner poetry? Modernism persists in cursing all laws and rules and yet wishes to parade, er, masquerade as if it is equal to what it cast off. Next we will all be whatever suits our private fancy and no detractors will be countenanced.
Hmm. Maybe you then Berriganize all your sonnets to decode them? Fascinating suggestion. You mean they even elude you? Wow. I'm not alone in remaining mystified.
Thanks again. Aye that was the sonnet.
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