The poetry of earth is dead. We're breeding
Lilacs out of it, making do with meaning
Uniquely kept afloat in a receding
Rear-view. Remember all those intervening
Years? Lenin's dead, and Paul is dead, and God --
He's not a poet, not that I can tell,
Nor was his niche preserved. I'm overawed
By holy verse, so why is Lenin's hell
Cosmism, God's "the Gap," and Paul McCartney
Gets to be a Beatle? The universe
Is just (The universe is unjust), art-free
And writ in water, and the Earth -- perverse
Mind-cradle, if it ever was -- is stocked
With all those truths that Darien unlocked.
Lilacs out of it, making do with meaning
Uniquely kept afloat in a receding
Rear-view. Remember all those intervening
Years? Lenin's dead, and Paul is dead, and God --
He's not a poet, not that I can tell,
Nor was his niche preserved. I'm overawed
By holy verse, so why is Lenin's hell
Cosmism, God's "the Gap," and Paul McCartney
Gets to be a Beatle? The universe
Is just (The universe is unjust), art-free
And writ in water, and the Earth -- perverse
Mind-cradle, if it ever was -- is stocked
With all those truths that Darien unlocked.
2 comments:
Wild, now your blog is freaking out and begging me to prove I live and breathe. The virtual world is so infested with liars that it cannot but suspect every soul?
Ah, while all too thankful you forced something related to a sonnet into existence, yet wouldn't I be unfriendly if I did not take you to task over its severe lack of adherence to the regulations?
What's with the initial quatrain? It is pretending to be a "blank verse sonnet" but has too much end-rhyming, albeit inconsistent, to make that claim valid.
First off, we hear a contradiction of Keats' wonderful sonnet.
A lovely little discussion and diatribe, only begging for proper respect to the standards to be excellent.
If "overawed" by "god" then wherefore such callous, rather irreverent references to His Word and personage?
Fascinating, thought-provoking little rant of sorts. And that "life is never fair" played into it as well. Why do your sonnets seem to elude my comprehension? I only seem to grasp but partially what is being conveyed.
Wonderful imagery for the discussion and, er, sorry excuse for a respectable sonnet. Nonetheless, it was rather heartening to see something.
Mind my cheekiness? I am sorry if I have been at all unkind or rude, forgive me?
Aye, I am not sure why; yesterday, I was asked to prove my humanness too. As for this sonnet, my deviations are Shakespearean (rhymed feminine endings in L1-L4 and L9/L11) and Keats (trochaic starts in L2, L4, L4, L9, and L10) a la "Silent upon a peak in Darien." Perhaps my offense is using the method too frequently? The first quatrain is a metered and rhymed (feminine endings) and is not intended to be blank verse, and has two shifts out of iambic meter that turn back into iambic at the punctuation points. For my own part, "holy verse" represents the poetry I read - Keats, Eliot, Dorn, and all the stuff I wish I could write.
As for it eluding comprehension, a critical observation might say that meaning isn't written into them, or is written into them vaguely at best. I allude to that a bit in L2. It's a lot of word-play and idea-play, and I don't know where it's going or what I mean, except that I like it. :)
Thanks for reading!
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