She's standing like a mask, a subterfuge
Of blurred and dulcet tones. They scintillate
Like snowflakes on a dulcimer: a rouge
Declined to white; a gentler chime, ornate
And crystalline, where rings an arctic chord
That clings t'her skin, a scaly slip of glim,
Ungilded dew. Her eyes, slim pools adored
By fervent blue, belie that polar hymn
While frigid lips stretch thin, and chilly winds
Whirl feminine and clean. For e'en as Spring
Lulls meadows into green, and warmth rescinds
Cold Winter's malediction, lo, they sing,
Unmelted and sincere; unfrozen, too;
Fast amaranthine pools of ardent blue.
5 comments:
Monday's sonnet - today! That puts me three behind. This trended quickly into overflowery language, but it seemed right to run with it. Glim is also a noun, not an adjective, but it seemed right to use it as one here. Hope it works.
Ah, but it is so beautiful that it almost rather seems to atone for the delay in its typical loveliness. I love the emphasis on blue, with aptly typifies winter in both the strength of the chill ("blue with cold") as well as the mentality it often stirs in folk(blue/depression), and too, the heavens on a clear and beautiful winter day. The adjectives excellently convey the snowflake, reviving the adoration of that wonderful creation, so delightfully pictured as feminine. I only dislike thin lips and "scaly"...akin to reptilian, which seems so opposite to the subject as both words appear rather negative adjectives, but what do I know, that is only my initial impression. Either way, I quite enjoyed it and was mayhap so thrilled to see a fresh offering and in such a delicate and exquisite topic it was too delicious. Excellent rendering of the topic! I like it very well.
I was uncertain about scaly, but went with it - it worked better when the previous like was "That frosts her skin," an image of frost forming scales across flesh. But it is what it is. Thanks for checking it out!
Wow, your words are truly captivating and so well expressed, leaving the reader completely awe-struck, I am new to the site so haven't post as yet any of my poems here, but plan to soon, but if you should want to check me out I am on All Poetry, a standing ovation here, brilliantly written.
Thanks, shewolf - I'll check you out on All Poetry - what is your username there?
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