If bore the desert eyes, they would be warm
And dark, each glance a tense oasis, hot
And nervously restrained, her torrid form
A covetous mirage. Come forth! Be caught
Up in her dance, and breathlessly enjoy
The feverish touch of sand, the bright caress
Of light on chilly limbs, a heat as coy
As naked breath, 'til late the wilderness
Grows cold, and then, amid the vesperine blue,
Those eyes grow colder still: a shuttered freeze
That beats its wings and weeps. Yet if she knew,
If e'er the desert questioned the unease
Of dusk, the doubt of dawn - would she abide
Her sunlit days, or would they be denied?
6 comments:
Not sure whether I want to elide "feverish" and "vesperine" or not. They are meant to be pronounced so: fev'rish and vesp'rine. I am just not liking the way they look when elided, and figure an astute reader can identify the elisions themselves. I'm open to suggestion there.
I guess this is Friday's sonnet? That means I still owe something like six days worth? Argh. Probably, because this was meant to be posted yesterday - just barely got it done in twenty-four hours, methinks - and I still have to do one today. Maybe I should write off the time lost as failed time. We'll see. :)
Very beautiful with excellent imagery. Only "vesperine" eludes my comprehension. I am only too fond elisions anyway, hence my vote is likely meaningless, being of course, that they would be better off elided, unless you want only an elite few to read it correctly. I appreciated your note that you wanted those two elided.
This wonderfully and delightfully creates the mystical moment of passion with that superb metaphor of a woman. A perspective on the desert I never before imagined. Fascinating and thought-provoking.
Call this merely the 32nd day's sonnet and assume you are at that day in your year of sonnets. If somehow you figure out how to spring forward to where you thought you should be, let it happen easily when and if it can, methinks. Otherwise the pressures might kill the possibilities of further success.
I enjoyed this lovely sonnet.
Thank you for your thoughts. I'm glad you enjoyed this. It sprang from a conversation with another poet where I described the desert as hot by day, cold by night - and that turned out to be my inspiration for a sonnet. "Vesperine" is an entirely made-up word, one I loved enough to keep: it means "related to the vesper," which is to say, the evening (Vespers, Vesper time, etc.) I wonder if sonnets are meant for female metaphors? The idea tempts me to try a male metaphor sonnet.
SUPERB POEM!
Ah,that must be why google did not/could not really find an answer when I tried to discover a definition. La, but you coined a new one for the present purpose! Hahaha, I just did that too the other night, couldn't find "indefenced" as such in the dictionary, but also couldn't think what other "-nst" word to use that would immediately fit that train of thought, so made my own, hoping it would be excused whenever judgment comes. I like your definition of it. Thanks for the explanation, I'm rather impressed.
Sonnets intended for female metaphors? I dunno. I ignorantly made all the seasons females, excepting Winter, only because I knew of Southey's winter sonnet; then I discovered some lovely old sonnet tributes to Autumn, describing it as a male. I begin to wonder if I am too taken with making females of my topics. Hence, as far as I can see, making male metaphors is as common or mayhap more so, for the little I know.
All the useful means of inspiration, excellent! And methinks you could write more in that desert thread as well, if you wanted to. I like to leave topics open for further study, especially since I want themes for sonnets, hahaha.
Thanks, Diksha. I'm rather fond of it - it was fun to write.
Jennifer, you have a good knack for analyzing a theme from different angles. I find that, once I've told a story, I want to move on... perhaps I should branch out and tell more about something a previous sonnet already did. Oh, and "indefenced" is a great word. :)
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