Far from the tar roads, vacant arroyas
Unshape the ground. Each sloping pile of sand
Scraped over by brush seems unrealistic; was
Unrealistic; will always be. This land
Has no desire to deceive, because
It's been mis-seen itself: the frank Chihuahua
Sighs at miles of barbed-wire skirting, hugs
Naked bones with her chipped rocks, thirsts for agua,
And lays with every vaquero with half
A mind to tame her - a parched turtledove,
She mates for life. If shot, her photograph
Seems truer; realer. In black and white,
The mesquite is thriving, and her carefree laugh
Shares rain and clean tequila through the night.
3 comments:
Lovely, a bit intriguing, more akin to what I am accustomed to knowing as a "sonnet" and wonderfully laden with excellent imagery.
Seems to my limited knowledge, a taste (for me) of the American SW).
By Chihuahua I immediately thought the dog, then a place, but it is a turtledove?? Or is that only indicating her fidelity? It is the place itself, by the conclusion.
"Chihuahua" is another feminine end-rhyme, isn't it?
La, the more I examine it, the more it appears you are really screwing with the traditional form. Having fun?
I love all the imagery and how the discussion unfolds, an interesting contemplation.
Its a fav for all it conjures, mind you, not for the reckless torturing of my darling.
My fear with "Chihuahua" as the title was that it would offer dogs, not deserts, but I want to avoid the word desert. It does need a better title. "Turtledove" is entirely an indication of fidelity - a sly indication, since mating for life may result in a brief union in the hostile sands.
Aye, "Chihuahua" is a feminine end-rhyme, as is its pair "agua," although that line (L8) starts with a trochee.
My intention here was to experiment with the cadence of the words beyond syllables and stresses, to see if I could create something that feels iambic even though it's not, that feels rhymed even if the rhymes are imperfect in places, that feels like a sonnet even if it runs astray. The rhyme scheme is from Shelley's Ozymandias.
Ah, thank you for explaining! And having said thus, methinks you accomplished your desire beautifully as my initial comment indicated.
Since you alluded to Shelley's Ozymandias, it was too tempting to explain what the original challenge entailed, if for nothing else than a comparison.
We are use each of Shelley's end-rhymes to compose our sonnet. Since his did not use "chihuahua," I am a bit confused what you intended by that. "Sand/land" I think I recall, but "kings" was another.
Anyway, sorry to be a pest of a friend, I enjoyed it.
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