A daydream's scope: a faint, secluded realm
That blooms with gilded spears, and little streams
Of silvered rings, and horsehair-crested helms
In empty halls o'er which Apollo dreams
A sunny dream. There echoes there a song
So lightly sweet, it renders semblance sane,
Imagination serenaded long
And constant; here, by maidens wrapped in rain,
Their o'er-familiar faces shining fair,
And there, by Oak's orchestral tones, his lone
And leafy voice reciting, unaware,
Bold words of prophecy. He grows alone,
His holy boughs obscured by golden birds
That craft thrice-woven nests from misheard words.
3 comments:
A friend suggested that I write poetry on paper instead of on the computer; that I write in my down moments; that I write bad sonnets, if no other sonnets come, just to write them. Well, during the seminar today, I did all three. Here it is.
Ah, so much to dislike. Apollo dreams a dream! no kidding. "There echoes there"... can I squeeze another "there" in there? And maybe after constant the punctuation is too much, and could be discarded. And Oak capitalized? That at least makes sense. Ah, well. Still counts!
Your initial comment got me laughing aloud. Superb! And at this rate you might make your daily challenge, hone your excellent abilities through further practice, and even have a tangible copy if society is forced to live sans electronics/electricity.
I was rather intrigued by its contents, but figured it worked nicely, conjuring up Ivanhoe with the castles and maidens, niggling at me with the oak reference. Apollo dreaming is an interesting concept, but I can neither deny nor confirm it, he being a rather mythical character.
I did notice your double "there" in L5, a simple enough mistake of sorts to make. This is like posting forever rough drafts? If so, the fascination is the excellence of the unpolished drafts.
Nests from misheard words is a very interesting concept. Thought-provoking.
A lovely dark ages(?) daydream. I like it well enough, especially the opening couple lines. Keep it up!
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