With circuitry throughout his plastic frame
He strains to hear the anthem of the year,
A one-hit-wonder's effort. Near, his name,
Surrounded by the neon lamps' austere
Perspective, sings above an empty dome;
The letters that still work pulse out of time,
Distracted by an urban metronome
Whose maestro's tin baton conducts the rhyme
More feebly than before. The people move
About him like a gel; the air is packed
With doppleganger dreams. They can't reprove
The similarity behind the fact:
His handle intersects the twenty-first
And -second centuries; half-rhymes, at worst.
3 comments:
The fun of this sonnet is not so much its meat as it is the promise of each line being an entire gem of its own.
I hesitate to say too much, yet am daring to comment on this before indulging in the previous 13. The first line made a superb sonnet, and I am only now curious to follow the ensuing train of loaded thought that makes this skeleton so enchanting.
Ah, he strains to hear the anthem because, being soulless, how shall he really hear anything?
Hmm. His handle is his name of "QED 161803" and only half rhymes at worst? He is a freaky creation by a dead god who refuses to admit he is lifeless and touts his marvel as nearly equal or superior to his Creator's original.
Excellent imagery and very interesting. Now that I have "cheated" thus, time to go backwards and have some fun. I am loving this!
Awesome and Congratulations! You may take a bow and wear your crown while I peruse your sonnet redouble.
Aye, a (possibly) soulless being, he cannot hear what's out there. He's the being at the cusp of 2100 and 2101. I am glad it was clear from the outset that "handle" meant "name." Thanks for starting the read, and I hope you liked the rest. :)
Oh, you hope? I am more pleased with it than ever, having learned all the more thanks to your kindly returning comments with needful explanations. I am impressed and all too delighted with this first crown of yours. La, mayhap I might write one someday, meantime you can write an entire collection on varied themes.
The only thing I found very interesting is the theological discussion of yours, since the only crown I've see prior to this was likewise, and written, it appeared, by a Jewess(but maybe I was dreadfully mistaken) and mine is likewise "religious." Coincidence? Okay, now shall you write some secular crowns?
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