With circuitry throughout his plastic frame,
The modern man has programmed dreams: improved,
Perhaps, and full of product placement. Name
A corporation and it's there, removed
From any context that makes sense outside
A dream: here, long-dead granddad's drinking Coors
And doesn't have a problem; Fido's dyed
The latest hues ("He's Genegineered, And Yours
For Four Low Payments™"); here, those anxious dreams
Of high school presentations don't arrive
Unless they're special-ordered; in those dreams,
You're always wearing Hanes. Oh, he's alive
In there: we're sure he has a soul. Out here,
He strains to hear the anthem of the year.
3 comments:
The first sonnet in a heroic crown - well, officially the first. Technically, the first one I wrote is the last, the crown itself, number fifteen. It had to come first for the others to emerge. That also means I'm cheating a bit, since I wrote it today but won't post it until the other nine are complete. It's a shame, because I think it's a better sonnet than this one - but it'll be there soon enough. Today was a banner day: except for a few chores, from waking 'til now, I sat and wrote sonnets, composing six in all. I will endeavor to do one more before I sleep; finally doing a crown, even a bad one, is exciting, and this break comes with some reluctance.
Ah, you call it cheating to write the 15th first? I never thought of doing that until earlier today. I am more afraid I will not be able to properly chase the idea freely if I do so, hence, I have only the promising hopeful first quatrain, and only the first three sonnets finished, with a couple lines into the fourth. I don't know whether it is cheating, so much as setting the pattern to follow, giving yourself prompts for every sonnet before it comes to fruition. Hmm. I am undecided which road to take now. And methinks I will skip ahead and read your 15th before I read any of the rest. Is that cheating?
How in the world did you get that awesome "tm" feature in, making your modern robot for only 4 payments so genuine? Way cool! Impressive. I blinked and wondered who was selling him that you'd managed to snag the selling prompt from.
Ah, too fun. This is only the first and I am enchanted.
Looks too excellent to me, a contrast between him and now, the back and forth is too good. Awesome.
La, it stinks that I cannot figure out how to give even half as good a critique as you do yet. Here is my poor one, if that at all.
Cheating only insofar as I didn't post it the day I wrote it. The "tm" is done via alt codes: with number lock on, hold down the alt key and type 0153 on the number pad: ™. And I enjoy all of your insights, responses, and critiques. They are not so poor as you imagine. Thank you for reading.
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